But as we turned this momentous corner, I found I lost sight of a few things. Let me explain.
Avi started having some difficulty sleeping. Falling asleep was taking hours and on nights when he did fall asleep easily, he would "wake" several times crying out, "no, no". Sometimes he would be crying out in a kind of bad dream. During the day, transitions were met with meltdowns and screaming became commonplace, frustration levels where through the roof. He became uber clingy and wanted to be carried and held all of the time. We tried to figure out reasons for these things. Was the 4 hour time difference from our Hawaii trip still lingering? Second year molars hurting? Gassy belly from the broccoli he's been loving? Picking up on the stress between his two mamas? Just simply turning 2? Bringing a halt to our 4 am nursing? Too much summertime fruit?
Sure, some and/or all of these things are probably contributing in some way to what's has been going on. But I realized that as Avi turned 2, I/We started talking to Avi about all things "big boy". Big boy bed, big boy unders (underpants), big boy's getting themselves dressed, big boy's telling Ema and Mama when he has to go pee-pee. I'd been asking him about nee-nee (nursing) ending. I/We basically created a paradigm for him to "hurry up and grow up".
|Trying to get Avi excited about his big boy unders.|
|Trying to get Avi excited about a big kid bed by showing him his friends bed.|
Ugh. I/We were pushing too much, too fast. Parenting without mindfulness. Ugh. Time to slow down!!! I put his new unders back in the drawer and decided they would stay there until he asked for them. We are still researching the big boy bed, but have decided to wait a bit... slow down... and introduce the new bed when that is the only "new" thing happening for him.
In the meantime, we are keeping a steady routine with naps and bedtime, eating dinner at home more often to help the nighttime transition, continuing co-sleeping, having longer cuddles before and after naps and first thing in the morning, Jenn and I are pausing our stressful conversations until more appropriate times, and we are generally slowing down and enjoying our two year old. Enjoying more moments likes these:
When Avi woke from his nap yesterday, I asked him about his dreams (as I always do). He told me he dreamt about "diapers and unders". I realized we made the right decision to slow down. Since shifting my own internal state about this -- letting go and slowing down -- so has Avi.
Ahhhhhhh - out breath.