And I did! When I Woke became part of the soundtrack to my life, along with Tori Amos' Under the Pink, Indigo Girl's Swamp Ophelia, Luka Bloom's Turf to name a few. Life was easy and complicated then. I felt so young. I remember asking my sister, (who is 10 years older than me), when she felt like an adult? "I still don't", she told me. I didn't believe her. She was married after all... and they had plans to start a family. She sure seemed like an adult to me.
But hearing that song for the first time in a long time, I now understand what my sister meant. I have felt it -- that feeling of knowing I may never feel like an adult -- many times. I felt it on my wedding day, after my son was born, everytime I vote, and when I interview for jobs. I also see it when I'm in the classroom -- some of my students are my age, some older, but many... most weren't even in kindergarden when I was buying my first Rusted Root album. I feel my age when I look in their eyes - no indication of the dark circles to come.
I will celebrate by 40th birthday in 14 months. I am married. I have a son. I have a graduate degree. I still don't feel like an adult and everytime I hear one of those songs from my 20 year old soundtrack, I (don't) feel it even more!!